Please Don't Feed the Animals
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: Tohru and the Sohma's go to the zoo on a snowy day in Winter. But all does not go to plan as the Sohma's get followed, attacked and mauled by their animal counterparts! Very funny and cute.


**A/N:**

**GUESS WHAT EVERYONE! It's… ONESHOT WEDNESDAY!**

**Yay! Dance, you freaks, dance! Uh-huh. It's gonna be oneshot mania, I tells ya.**

**Anyway…**

**Disclaimer: Me no ownie's the basket of fruits.**

Walking around the zoo in the Winter was something Tohru had always wanted to do, even as a child. The snow whizzed passed her as she skipped along the twisty paths of the animal park, which she had conveniently bought the Sohma's along to.

Every Sohma had agreed to come, except Akito, Ritsu and Kazuma because they felt too lazy to get out of bed that morning. The snow bothered them. But the snow also bothered someone else, who wont be mentioned or I'll get hurt.

Tohru grinned and turned to her wonderful friends, the Sohma family. They all looked so cute wearing their wintry warm clothes. She pointed in a random direction.

"Lets go see the _tigers_ first!"

Kisa's ears pricked up. T-Tigers? They weren't exactly her cup of... well, herbal tea. They walked off to the enclosure. The tigers all turned from whatever they had been doing and ran to the bars. Kisa cringed as they all meowed for her, pawing the cage. She blushed and hid beside Rin and Haru, who had come as well.

"Ook… not a good idea. I know! Lets go visit the_ snake_ enclosure!"

Ayame shrugged. "Snakes don't like me that much, everyone! Only, Shigure!"

At the glass cage, the snakes were sleeping under the ultra violet lights. One snake turned and faced Ayame, forked tongue sliding in and out of its mouth. This snake happened to be quite poisonous, as well. It rammed its head to the glass, trying to reach for Ayame, as if it were possessed. Tohru blushed and begged Ayame for forgiveness, before suggestion the aquarium. They followed, silently and stony faced. Maybe this trip hadn't been such a good idea, after all.

In the aquarium, much to everyone's surprise, the fish and aqua animals pushed against the glass for none other than Hatori. He stared blankly at the fish before walking off to the seahorse tank. They attempted to jump out of their tank for him, but he poked them back in, before hurrying off in the opposite direction.

"I'm so sorry everyone! This isn't working out at all! Hmm… how about the farm animals?"

The Sohma's and Tohru trudged through the snow to the next animals on the checklist, farm. Sighing, she opened the gate for the Sohma's and they piled in. As soon as the gate was opened, Kyo was attacked by some cats. They meowed and scratched him, so he yelled, as per usual.

"Stupid fricken animals! Leave me alone!"

Hiro attempted to run as sheep and goats surrounded him. They baa'ed and rammed into him. He waved his hands and swore, trying to make them go away, but made as much progress as Kyo had.

Kureno stood quite still as he found himself being noticed by roosters and hens. They made their way over, clucking and cheeping and his seeing some kind of god. He tried to shoo them, but they just wouldn't leave. Sighing, he allowed himself to be pecked.

Rin and Haru ran for it, as horses, cows and bulls chased them around. They held each other, hand in hand, as they ran to the gate and opened it, fleeing. Some people don't like animals. These two especially.

Kagura screamed as some pigs and boars came to her. She tried shoving them away, but they just backed her into a corner.

"Kyo! Kyo dammit, help me!"

But Kyo was too busy trying to pluck himself from the cats. Damn, they were persistent.

A single field mouse came over to Yuki, before climbing up his shirt and upon his shoulder. He stroked it, and then uttered a cry, as he noticed a stampede come after it. He ran, in the direction of Kyo. If he wanted to save himself, he would need the help of some cats.

The cats and mice scrambled around as Kyo and Yuki brushed them selves off, only to get knocked down again by the sea of fighting animals. Shigure and Momiji found themselves struggling for survival as farm dogs and field rabbits came in the hundreds for them.

Tohru stood and watched with Kisa and Hatori, as the rest of the Sohma's slipped over in the snow, trying to get away from their animal counterparts. Watching her friends being mauled by animals like this was quite amusing for young Tohru, so she broke into laughter.

She laughed and laughed, spinning around and letting the snow fall on her.

_What a beautiful moment, Mum, _she thought, _at the zoo, in the snow, watching my best friends being attacked and falling over in the snow. How much better could it be?_

Gasping for breath, she waved her hand.

"Come on guys, lets go before you seriously get hurt!"

The Sohma's scrambled across the snow and to the gate, where they ran out into the street and towards home again. Once on the track in the woods towards Shigure's house, Tohru grinned.

"I didn't know that most of the Sohma's were farm animals! How cute!"

"Cute my ass!" Kyo replied, struggling to free himself from Kagura's grasp.

"You have to admit Kyo, today was kinda fun" Tohru replied, as they finally made it to Shigure's snow covered doorstep.

"Your right, Miss Honda" Yuki stated, as the went inside, "So very, very right"

They Sohma's settled down for some herbal tea, before they walked back to Main House.

Later that night, Kureno was awoken by Akito's questioning.

"So, how was your day, Kureno?"

"Well, we were all attacked by our animal counterparts, got cold and wet from the snow and have bruising from being mauled," He sighed, "But all in all, today was great"

**A/N:**

**Well, what do you think?**

**Review and tell me, damn you!**


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